If you had asked me when I was 16 years old, "What will your life be like when you're 38?" I would have laughed at you.
Back then, 38 years old would have been even older than what my mother was at the time.
It would have been so far out of my reach of comprehension that the only possible reaction I would have had would be to laugh hysterically.
No way would I have ever been able to imagine being so "old".
If you had asked me when I was 21 years old, "What will your life be like when you're 38?" I would have grinned at you.
Back then, 38 would mean that my children would be grown. I would have envisioned dreams of being a published author, living in a beautiful home, driving a new car and taking lavish vacations.
If you had asked me when I was 30 years old, "What will your life be like when you're 38?" I would have growled at you.
Back then, 38 would have only felt like 8 more years had been added onto my life. That I had managed to accomplish nothing more than get older. That things had only gotten more difficult, not any easier.
If you had asked me when I was 37 years old, "What will your life be like when you're 38?" I would have simply hung my head in defeat.
Back then, 38 would have only been a year away, one step closer to being 40 and a lifetime away from where I would have ever imagined being.
I could have never, not ever, seen the incredible things that would happen.
Life has a way of passing by, slipping through your fingertips like grains of sand.
Days turn into months... months turn into years... years turn into decades....
And, right at the moment when you've given up hope, when you've lost your vision for the future, when you've chalked your entire existence up to nothing more than a wasted effort..
Life has a way of throwing you something so incredible that you can't believe it's even possible for it to be happening to you.
I'm 38. And if you ask me now what my life will be like 10, 20 or even 40 years from now I'll just smile, shrug my shoulders, and tell you that it doesn't matter.
Because whatever life brings, whatever my future might hold...
It will be amazing.
1 comment:
I hear ya, girl. I have resolved myself to the fact that goals are just that, "goals". We can only make of our lives the best that we can in our circumstances and with our abilities. No sense beating ourselves up, just keep on trying! Sounds like you have found something positive to propel you toward growth. Good for you!
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