The Great Outdoors

My son, after having just graduated, decided that it would be a fun summer adventure to go on a hiking/camping trip with a group of his friends.

I'll admit that I was a bit shocked since my son isn't exactly the outdoors type.

"That's your fault," he insisted when I pointed out the fact that the last time he had been camping was when he was 5 years old.

He wasn't wrong, I'm not much for "roughing it". While I enjoy nature and can appreciate certain nonthreatening forms of wildlife, I'm not a fan of being seperated from the modern conveniences of society....like a toilet.

Regardless of the fact that spending a week in God's country wasn't my idea of a "vacation", I fully supported his desire to go on the adventure. After all, I thought, you're only young once.

"So where are you planning to go?" I asked.

"We're going to hike the Knobstone Trail."

"All of it?"

"Yep."

Even though I'm not well versed on outdoor adventure I still know a thing or two about the Knobstone Trail....

Starting with the fact that it's a 58 mile hike through some fairly rugged terrain.

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

I shook my head in disbelief. No longer was this just a hiking/camping adventure with a group of friends....suddenly it was turning into a script from one of those low budget horror films.

"You saw the movie 'Wrong Turn' right?"

He laughed and nodded his head.

"And 'Friday the 13th'?"

"Yes mom."

"What about 'The Hills Have Eyes'?"

"You're being a downer."

"Parts 1 and 2?"

"Okay mom, I get your point."

"All those people were just going on a camping trip too."

He just shook his head and smiled.

"Just promise me one thing," I said using my serious mom voice. "If you hear a strange noise in the woods, for the love of God, run the other way."

I think as he's packing his camping gear I'm going to stash the video camera in his backpack. At least then when the search party recovers his belongings I'll have a 'Blair Witch' video to remember him by.

Word Shortage

I go through these phases when I suffer from a shortage of words.

Normally I'll sit at my desk and pray for a quiet moment.

A single solitary moment when the television isn't blaring...

When there isn't a line formed at the doorway with members of my family waiting to talk to me about something...

When there isn't twelve other things that need to be done all at the same time...

Normally those solitary moments are so few and far between that when they finally arrive I have no earthly idea how or what to do with them.

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago. My son was reading in the living room. My daughter had gone to the baseball park to meet up with some friends. The house, for a solitary moment, was silent.

I checked my email.

Still silence...

I visited a few regular sites.

Still silence...

I knitted a bit on the scarf that I'll most probably never wear.

Still silence...

For a single solitary moment, I was bored.

Then a thought occured to me: "You should really use this time to write something."

But what?

I pondered a bit trying to think of something crafty and creative to write about.

I was coming up with nada.

Then another thought occured to me: "It's always easier to write once you start writing."

It seems a bit silly when you think about it...but really it's true. Writing is a lot like cleaning the house, it seems like a daunting task...one that you'll never complete...one that you aren't even sure how to start...but once you start doing it then it suddenly gets a lot easier.

So...

I grabbed my handy dandy tiny computer and relocated myself from the silence and moved outside where I became immediately surrounded by the sounds of people mowing grass and small children playing....

As it turns out, it wasn't a solitary moment of silence that I needed in order to overcome the word shortage...

It was just a change of scenery...

And a small adjustment to my attitude.

Happiness is..

Sitting outside with my tiny laptop and eating some mixed berry flavored yogurt that I jacked from the fridge.

Don't tell my daughter....she laid claim to the yogurt the moment she slipped it into the grocery cart.

"But mom," she said with her patented eyelash maneuver, "it's 99% fat free."

As if that made a difference one way or the other.

"Doesn't that mean you'll hate it?" I replied as I maneuvered the cart down past one of the 'under construction' aisles at the local Wal-Mart.

"Well you're always saying that I snack to much, I thought you'd be happy that I chose a healthy snack."

"Then why is there a family size bag of tortilla chips and an extra large jar of salsa in the cart already?"

She snickered and tried to cover her loot with the bags of produce that I had put in the cart.

"To late kiddo, you're busted."

"But mom," she whined softly, "they were calling to me."

I'm certain they were. My daughter's true vice is her obsession with chips and salsa, which she could easily turn into a meal every night of the week. Of course I've lectured about healthy eating habits, not snacking constantly, and about portion control, but she is content to ignore my lectures.

"One day my darling child, you're going to wake up and all of those chips and salsa are going to have landed right on your rear end."

She laughed, the same laugh she uses when she thinks I've made a joke.

"Don't hate me for my metabolism."

"Good word choice."

"I know, huh? That was a smart word."

"Very smart."

"So then I can have the yogurt?"

"You going to put away the chips and salsa?"

"Wasn't planning on it."

"Didn't think so."

One day maybe she'll find out that I wasn't joking and maybe she'll regret all of the snacking she did during her younger years. In the mean time, while youth and a hyper active metabolism are still on her side, I think I'll just let her enjoy it.

"Everything"

The culmination of 18 years came last night as I watched my first born child accept his high school diploma.

I'm not generally an emotional person.
I don't get teary-eyed at weddings.
I don't get mushy when I hold a new baby.

But as I watched my little boy walk down that aisle wearing his cap and gown, a part of me melted.

At the same time that my face erupted in a giant smile, my eyes filled with tears of joy.
I was overcome with a sense of pride. The kind of pride you feel when you see the child you have raised accomplish one of life's many milestones.

He smiled, the way he smiles when he's really happy.

"I'm finally done."

"Now that high school is over, what are you going to do next?"

"Everything."

At this very moment, the entire world awaits the little boy I once held in my arms.

Nothing could make a mother more proud.

Creative

The idea was for me to spend some time tonight being creative.

So far it isn't working well for me.

It seems that every single spare moment, along with a few non-spare moments, have been spent working on the garden project. At this point I'm not really sure you could call it a "project"...it's more like an "entity".

There are points when something which starts off small gets so large that you seem to lose control of it. At that point it loses project status...and takes on a life of its own.

That's what happened to the garden.

Physically: I'm exhausted.
Mentally: I'm exhausted.
Totally: I'm exhausted.

Whoever said that gardening was a relaxing hobby must have been referring to the fact that after spending all your time gardening you're so totally wiped out that the only thing you can do effectively is sleep.

For a week.

In the midst of all the gardening insanity, my creative energy has been allowed to go into a dormant state.

Tonight I was supposed to try to wake it up...

I'm not sure I have the energy to write a grocery list let alone come up with a compelling topic for the short story I was supposed to have written by May 31....which according to my calendar is only two days away.

On the plus side....

I have one hell of a garden.

Gardening Anyone?

I've never been much of a gardener...
In fact, the only thing I've ever successfully been able to grow has been the mass collection of weeds scattered throughout my yard. Thank God for the people who owned the house before me...otherwise I'd have nothing in my yard but dandelions and crabgrass.
But I'm no quitter...

When I got the idea to convert my backyard into a peaceful zen-like place where we could go to socialize or just relax, I counted heavily on my master Googling abilities to help me out. Surely amidst the vastness of the Internet I'd be able to track down something that would help me in my quest to create the perfect garden (free of any species of weed).

I did.

After about 437 hours worth of research, and an equal number of hours spent digging, raking, planting and mulching, I've begun the process of creating my perfect garden...

Here is the first glimpse:
Now I realize that it's not likely going to make the pages of the next issue of Better Homes & Gardens...but for me, this is one heck of a start....

Now the question is....do I have enough energy to keep going?

Thinking Positive...

Lately it's become my endeavor to think more positively...

In case you weren't already aware, I'm a bit of a cynic...which makes the whole positive thing a little difficult for me.

But, as well as being a chronic cynic, I'm also not known for my ability to give up on anything I set my mind to do. While previously this may have lead to me being seen as stubborn or hard headed, I'm hoping that I can put a more positive spin on it.

I first became involved with studying the Law of Attraction through what some might call total accident. Until that point, I was familiar with the book The Secret, and vaguely familiar with the principles in which it spoke. It was on the short list of books that I intended to pick up, yet for some reason never did. Perhaps I was unwilling to buy into the hype surrounding the book, or perhaps I was just too lazy to actually drive to the book store. Regardless, I had put it off.

Then, sometime later, I read a post on a message board which spoke about the Law of Attraction. My curiosity started to get the better of me, and I began to dig a little deeper.

For months I had been consciously telling myself that I needed to change. That somehow, in some way, I needed to become a different - better - person. That my old habits were doing me no favors, that I was reaching an age where it was time to get my butt in gear or risk losing the few golden opportunities that I had left. Then, accidentally, I stumbled upon words which made total sense to me.

Basically, in their simplest form, the words were this:

What goes around, comes around.

It seems funny to type that out. I mean come on, could I be anymore cliche with my major revelation about life? But that is essentially what the Law of Attraction says - that whatever energy you produce will attract like energy.

If you feel like you're broke....you're broke.
If you feel like you're surrounded by butt heads....then you're surrounded by butt heads.
If you feel like your life is doing a quick swirlie down into toilet bowl hell....well grab a snorkel, cause that's exactly where you're headed.

The point is that if you think it, if you feel it, then it is. Simple as that.

I read the words, then read them again, nodding my head in agreement.

Yep, I was broke.
Yep, butt heads everywhere.
Yep, where'd I put that snorkel anyway?

So if I thought all of these things....and they were indeed the reality I was experiencing. Then what might happen if I started to change the way that I thought?

What if I could change my outlook to reflect the way I envisioned my life being?

And there begins the journey I'm now on...to use the Law of Attraction to work in the ways I want it to work, and attract the things that I would like to attract....

I'll let you know how it goes.